If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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