Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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