i would punch a child for taco bell
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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