Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
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bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
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party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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