also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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