I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize