Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize