3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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