He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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