a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize