Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize