did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize