Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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