im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize