He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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