here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize