Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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