I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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