Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize