we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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