She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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