So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize