I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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