Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize