dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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