she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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