there's paper in my vomit.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
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I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
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Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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