she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize