He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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