awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
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He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
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WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i think im in europe. pls send help
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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