if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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