I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Drake has all the answers
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize