Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize