i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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