Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
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I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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