so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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