carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
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I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
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I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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