guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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