Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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