you're like a bully in the Christmas story
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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