I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize