he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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