Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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