I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize