did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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