Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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