Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize