Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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