sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize