We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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